Half an hour till show time. I am in the womens dressing room, checking my make-up. I have just been on my stage, making sure all the props are in their correct places. Yes, my stage. That's how I know I'm ready for this, is when I walk on and feel like I own the stage. I re-apply lip color, and practice my friendly smile, making sure to throw in a little wide-eyed innocence.
Fifteen minutes till show time. We gather in the mens dressing room to warm up our voices. I ask the guy who plays the villain how he's feeling. He's on. I'm on, we're all on. This is going to be a good show. The fellow who plays my love interest asks me if I'm nervous. "Not a bit of it!" I reply. "You know they say you're supposed to be a little nervous before you perform" he says. I feel mild annoyance. "Well, I'm not about to try and drum up the butterflies just because 'they' say I should be feeling them," I retort. The assistant director gives me thumbs up.
Five minutes till show time. We are back stage. I can see through a hole in the wall that my parents and sister are in the front row of stage left. The introduction music begins. I feel one enormous jitter of excitement, and then a cool confidence sets in, which is soon replaced with wild anticipation. The first scene begins. The actors are at their best, not rushing, not lagging. Timing is good. The audience laughs in all the right places, for all the right reasons. Blackout. The villain gives me a quick 'break-a-leg' squeeze, and we go onstage. The crowd is wired. They laugh, and energy flows into us. Oh, are we hot tonight! I am drowning in exhileration, as I play the part of a naiave, innocent, confused little barista. Here is my solo song, and my throat is so dry I think I will croak, but I don't. Praise Heaven for saliva flow! Applause, applause, and blackout.
The next scene opens peacefully, until my character makes a luckless blunder, and spills the beans unwittingly. The villain is very very angry, and I play very very terrified. The crowd, incensed by his violence and slime in contrast to my defenseless innocence, boo and hiss when next he appears on stage. This is glorious! He plays his part with such skill and finesse! Here is the climax, the final scene, the grand resolve. The damsel is rescued, the villain arrested, and it is pulled of beautifully! But oh! there is one tiny mishap, but so funny, the crowd is on the floor laughing (which is grand) and I want to laugh too! The urge is too strong, and thank goodness I am supposed to collapse into hysterical sobbing now, and so it is disguised. We sing our final song, and bow amid thunderous applause. I throw a kiss to the crowd. We have never played better, and I am drunk with happiness.
Now we are lined up by the door, and the audience shakes our hands. My smile is carved permenantly to my face. I have never said 'thank you' so many times in my life.
"You're singing is beautiful!"
"You looked like you were having so much fun up there!"
"We really enjoyed the show!"
"You looked so alive on stage!"
And my favorite of all; "You were so yummy!" says one lady of great style and class.
My feet aren't touching the floor. I float around, smiling and talking to people, wondering how it is possible for one human being to feel so much joy. I feel like it is over flowing and spilling in a river behind me as I go. I can sing, dance, shout forever! I see my director, and give her a hug. "Congragulations on your smashing success" I say. "There wasn't an empty seat in the house! They loved it!" She laughs. "Your timing was impeccable" she tells me, and shakes my hand vigorously.
Tomorrow perhaps, normal life will pick us up and carry us along, but tonight we are immortal. Tonight I will remember forever, for tonight I am thinking "I was born for this!"