Here's a rather strange poem I found buried in one of my numerous notebooks yesterday:

We were rushing along in our own happy world
Alone, undisturbed, refined
The sky shone blue against the sun
The ocean blue against the sky
We didn't stop to wonder why, we only knew that we must drive
Drive, drive
We must drive and leave behind
The silent questions undefined
of Who and When? Where and Why?
Stop to take a single sigh might break the mode
Stay on the road
Look ahead, don't glance behind
Don't remember yesterday
Move ahead, move away
Driving might relieve the pain we've forgotten buried here.
There, a sign! a blaring red
No more space to rush ahead
We hit the brakes, hit them hard
The silver silence shatters now
The shards of broken peace are all
That's left; delusions, echoes, sounds, of dreams gone bad
Thought we had a life made up of more than that.
But listen now, softly now
A thing called peace - real peace - is here
Creeping softly like a mother, a
Holding, gently cradling mother
Now steps in and like a lover
Strokes the broken silver parts away from mangled, bloody heart
And breathes
Sighs
A hope begins to rise
We roll our windows down now
Taste the wind, embrace the wind as
We begin to drive.

I bought a yellow dress today. It's a sweet yellow dress, reminiscent of the Pride & Prejudice era; the high waist, delicate pattern, so exquisitely feminine. I felt like a fairy, a princess, a beautiful girl when I slipped it over my head and gazed critically in the mirror. I was transported into another era; I was a different girl with a different life and set of joys and worries.
"Yes, I will take the dress." I told the sales lady, a preppy 60-year-old wearing Juniors clothes and teen perfume.
"SUch a DEal!" She shrieked as she wrapped it up.
When I modeled the dress (that sweet yellow dress with a wash of old-fashioned roses) for my parents, mother asked "Who are you trying to impress? Because it's very impressive."
I answered "Nobody."
I'm not really trying to impress anybody... yet...

Bubbles

Two bubbles found they had rainbows on their curves.
They flickered out saying:
"It was worth being a bubble just to have held that
rainbow thirty seconds."

~ Carl Sandburg

I close my eyes so you wont read the secrets written there.

I bought a new car! Yessiree, as of Saturday I am now the proud new owner of a '96 Ford Contour GL. It's beautiful, my baby is, pure white - you know how some white vehicles look like there was hardly enough paint to cover it? well she's got a generous coating of thick, smooth, white paint on her. Really, for a '96 this car is in very nice condition. No cd player, unfortunately, but I'm getting one installed. Oh I feel so utterly cool in my new ride. The car sales man took a liking to me, which I must confess I used to my advantage, and he brought the price down down down and gave me a great deal. Ah, life is so sweet.

It's dark at 10 o'clock at night. I'm driving thru town with my windows up. The vents are off and the only sound is the engine and my breathing. I reach down to the radio, and by some fluke hit the wrong button and an unfamiliar French station comes on. It begins to play a folk song, sweet and a little melancholy, making me think of wine and beautiful people, white linen and wilted flowers in the streets. I lower my windows to let in the soft mild air of a summer evening, and wish I could drive all the way to Europe.

My dad set up a volleyball net in our back yard, and we've been having volleyball parties on Sundays. I like playing volleyball, but heavens I am so bad at it, it's more funny than humiliating. Though it is a little of that too. Last night we just practiced setting and spiking and serving the ball. I do believe I actually improved a little! Instead of completely misjudging where the ball is going, I began to make contact with it - and started sending it way behind my head. I think if I played standing backwards I would be much more successful in getting the ball over the net and not into the rose garden.

Being with my sister is like reading my own mind all the time, only in a different body.